How Does Internal Perception Affect Your IT Organization?

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Most of my articles are about business problems and how they affect an organization. Often, I take a macro-level approach to introduce solutions to meet those problems. live chat adult finder This month’s article will be a little different than what I normally cover. adult chat Instead, I’ll focus on a subject that has become all too apparent in my daily dealings with C-Level IT Executives.

I spend the majority of my time talking with CIO’s, CISO’s, CTO’s, Directors of IT, etc… as a function of what I do for a living-running an IT consulting company. In order to determine whether I might add immediate (or, at least, near-term value), one of the first questions I ask them is what their goals are for the present and next fiscal years. In doing so, theoretically, it should give me indication of what the goals are. Even more importantly, it has given me insight into whether their Board/C-Level team views the IT group.

I’ve found that IT Organizations fall into two main categories in how they are perceived within their company. One group of companies views their IT group as an asset that enables the organization to grow. The second is companies that consider IT to be a necessary cost of doing business but not much more.

This article will explore those two views as well as the typical strategies for each type as relates to competition, change, manageability and growth.

IT as an essential part of the organization

Companies that view IT as an integral part of the organization typically exhibit several characteristics:

1. They are early adopters of new technology. Having a belief that IT can empower their organization (reducing costs, mitigating risk, boosting effectiveness, etc…..); these companies typically are the first to research and adopt emerging technologies.

Some examples of recent emerging technologies include VOIP (Voice over Internet Protocol), Cloud Computing and SaaS Solutions (Software-as-as Service), Disc Storage and High-Availability Solutions, and Mobile Solutions.

Some of the advantages that these companies experienced include reduced operational costs, increased productivity and far superior continuity to operations, among many others.

The end result of this-a significant competitive advantage over the laggards who wait to adopt the newest and most beneficial technology.

2. They view IT as an integral part of their company and seek their input on critical decisions. One of the easiest ways I can tell if a company falls into this category is if the C-Level IT team states that their goals came from their group (presented to the board/CEO) or if it was dictated from the CEO or Board.

In an ideal world, positions are filled for reasons of competency and professional aptitude. The C-Level executive in any department is the ultimate head of that business unit. It is, then, reasonable to assume that any C-Level should be leading the decisions, direction, strategy and goals of their particular department. The CIO/CTO would use their group to evaluate the organizations current landscape, find areas of weakness, broken process, or productivity, and find solutions from the outside to solve these issues and improve the organization.

The best of these CIO’s (and companies, co-incidentally) work in a mutually-rewarding atmosphere whereby the problems and solutions presented by the IT group are then understood and approved by the CEO/Board for the betterment of the organization.

The benefit to a company is that productivity is increased and (theoretically) the most-qualified decisions are being made and implemented, which result in higher productivity, reduced expense and higher continuity. Long-term, however, is where the real benefit occurs: that the decisions were not made from the outside but rather from within the IT industry, often resulting in a better long-term strategic plan for the organization.

3. They have a long-term strategy. Any company that has to account for their decisions on a “task” basis rather than a planned basis plays “catch up” and doesn’t follow a long-term, strategic plan for the organization. It does not take a management effectiveness consultant to explain the benefits of following a long-term plan that is embraced, implemented and modified when needed as opposed to piecing solutions to put out fires. As a result, these companies typically have…

4. …more satisfied IT workforces.When companies have a culture of respect and self-worth/appreciation, their workers are typically more satisfied and have longer tenure. Typically, these organizations view their position as a career rather than just a job.

The benefits of having a happier workforce include decreased expense (hiring is expensive!), increased productivity (time to learn is minimized) and more time is spent on creativity and pro-active tasks as opposed to beaurocracy, job searches and reactionary activity.

IT as a necessary evil within a company

The flip side of the above scenario, of course, is that IT is not valued and is looked at as a cost of doing business. These companies typically exhibit several characteristics as well:

1.Low early adoption rates. Almost always, these companies are not early adopters of the latest technologies.

This results in the company often giving a competitive advantage to their industry peers. An example of this includes a national logistics company that failed to implement a VOIP solution for its offices nationwide and mobile solution with RFID for its truckers that could have significantly cut expenses experienced much higher costs than the competition. The result was that the competition was able to lower pricing, increased market share, and took market share from the logistics company in part, because of the higher cost structure.

2.Failure to plan for the long-term. Companies that perceive IT as another “cost of doing business” are less likely to invest in the infrastructure for the long-term. Thus, they often experience higher overall costs (both hard and soft) in terms of missing the competitive advantage adoption period and the hard savings that comes along with that. These companies are focused on solving the “task-at-hand” (example-we need a wireless refresh due to our contract expiring, which the company does instead of looking at it strategically and including factors such as deployment, web security, and business continuity).

As I reference above in the inverse role, you do not need to be a Harvard Business Professor to understand the value of strategic planning as opposed to management by task, especially at the C-Level. We have all learned this in the most basic of “Business 101″ classes early in college. The most successful companies govern themselves based upon goals and then devise and implement a strategic plan to get there. It amazes me when I witness well-known companies that do not exhibit the most basic of management principles.

3.Their view of IT as a necessary evil of doing business results in lower productivity, higher employee turnover, losing business to the competition, and lower morale.

These are some pretty strong statements, but think about it: If you work in an organization that, by nature, refuses to accept change or input from the “expert on staff”, what is the point of even having that person. The reasons why companies experience these pitfalls include:

•Lower Productivity-a company that does not adopt technology as an enabler has to work harder in order to do the same tasks that the competition does automated. Examples include:

a.Automation of Compliance & Reporting

b.CRM Integration with remote users

c.Employing Virtualization to increase business continuity

d.Unified Communications

•Higher Employee Turnover-a company that does not allow its subject matter experts to do their jobs most effectively risks losing them to the competition. As is commonly known in management, there is a learning curve when bringing new employees into an organization, which results in lower productivity.

•Losing business to the competition-companies that can pro-actively execute their plan typically spend more time in acquisition-oriented activity and less in service-oriented tasks. Further, these companies utilize technology to better serve their clients. Examples directly related to this include corporate extranets, corporate communications initiatives and CRM Software to better manage the relationship.

•Lower Morale-it only takes a basic understanding of human nature to understand that happy (or, at least, respected) employees are more productive. A perfect example of this is Google, even though they might go to the extreme with the “20% of time devoted to innovation” (I’m not sure if this principle exists today but it was certainly a well-documented “core value” of the original Google management team).

Companies that give their employees a voice often get very positive responses. In the particular case of IT employees, it gives a company an opportunity to learn about technological innovations from the subject matter experts who were hired into that position for tasks such as that.

When these same employees are not able to share their discoveries and knowledge, it is dispiriting and leads to lower morale, which leads to decreased productivity.

A company that has disillusioned, over-worked, “firemen” cannot grow versus the competition that adopts technology to solve the same problems.

But how do we provide a change in an organization’s perception? We’ll tackle that issue at a later date and another article.

I hope that this article was one that you found informative and gave you some insight into how companies can enable or disable their IT staffs and the repercussions of each decision. And I hope you work for an organization that values it’s IT group!

Is Marriage Right for You?

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So you’re planning to get married. That’s great! You grow up thinking that you’d get married someday. That’s the norm; that’s the ideal. Despite the high divorce rate and the cynical marriage jokes most adults want to be married. A recent survey of twenty-something’s found that 94% of them wanted to get married someday.

Marry in haste, repent and repent and repent

But, is marriage right for you? More specifically, is marriage at this time to this person right for you? Just because you aspire to being married someday doesn’t mean that today is the day. Or this month, or this year, or this person.

It feels as though someone we know is getting divorced with every passing day. With the decrease in marriage rates, it also seems as if there are a lot more divorces than marriages . Perhaps too many people are getting married too soon.

Ironically, the number of young people who get married has taken a notable dive. Today, the average age for first marriage is 27 for men. For women it is 25. This phenomenon is being attributed to what is being called “extended adolescence”. People are simply taking longer – for many reasons, such as education, careers, and others – to get married. In fact, one third of all males in their 20′s still live at home with their parents.

The Wedding as Show Business

Due to this extended wait for marriage, couples have more time to plan their weddings. Older couples generally have more money to spend on weddings. As a result, weddings are becoming much larger affairs – at least in terms of money spent. In 2004 the average cost of a wedding was more than $27,000. When such an investment has been made, the pressure is truly on the couple to go through with the ceremony, even if the bride or groom has doubts or uncertainties about the marriage-to-be.

However, since divorce is more readily acceptable, it is becoming more common that couples get married without the commitment of staying together for life. They know deep down that if the marriage doesn’t work, there is an “out”. They can get a divorce and try again with someone else. So even if they have felt pressured to go through with the wedding, they still feel as though there is an alternative. They don’t really have to commit. There’s always an “out”.

When making the decision to get married, evaluate your reasons with a list of pros and cons. If you feel that you are on the losing end, perhaps you should re-evaluate your decision to get married. If you will be giving up a career, your friends, or your family than perhaps marriage is not the best move at this time. If your partner truly loves you and not the idea of getting married, s/he will understand. He’ll be angry for a while, of course. But the years will prove the wisdom of your decision.

Prenups for you and me

If you are certain that you are in love, but want to cover all your bases, you may want to draft a prenuptial agreement. “Prenups” were designed to minimize arguments and legal bills if/when a couple divorced. But, prenups are also valuable because they force couples to discuss what may be major issues in their marriage. This communication in itself may calm some of the doubts you may have been feeling. Discussing these topics before the wedding is much more effective than arguing about them afterwards.

Be Fair by Being Selfish

Most of all, be fair to your partner by staying true to yourself. If getting married doesn’t really feel right, have the courage to speak to your partner. Call a halt to the wedding or delay it until you do feel ready. Breaking it off before the wedding is much kinder than fighting each other in divorce court later. By listening to your inner voice you may be sparing both your partner and yourself a lifetime of heartache and misery.

Remember, also, that you should not be marrying in order to either escape your current lifestyle or situation. Nor should you act out a childhood fantasy of having the perfect wedding. Marriage should not been seen through dreamy love-blinded eyes. Marriage is a real life commitment and responsibility between two adults. Approach it with eyes and heart and mind open.

Whimsical Winter Wedding Invitations

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How do you imagine your winter wedding? Is it just like every other wedding, or is it playful and spirited, with whimsical decorations, a special menu, and unique bridesmaid jewelry full of charm? If the second one sounds more like your style, get the ball rolling with a whimsical winter wedding invitation.

What sets an invitation apart from the pack is being a little different. Or sometimes even a lot different. It depends on the size of your guest list and the size of your wedding stationery budget. If you have a small guest list and a large budget, you can do some really creative things. One fantastic idea is to have relatively large gingerbread cookies made in the shape of a chapel. They can be decorated with the traditional white icing in fanciful patterns to create an edible wedding chapel invitation. You could write the wedding details right on the cookies with icing, or if that does not allow enough space, overlay the gingerbread chapel cookies with a piece of vellum printed with the invitation details. Of course the whole creation will need to be carefully packaged to ensure that it arrives in one piece, but what a unique (and tasty!) way to invite your friends and family to join you for your winter nuptials.

Another fun idea for a non-paper winter wedding invitation is to have a professional calligrapher write the wedding details on large Christmas ornaments. The frosted glass balls will make the best backdrop, and they are easy to write on. Tie a large festive velvet or tartan bow to the top of each ornament as an extra festive touch. Again, careful packaging will be key so that your amazing invites arrive safely. This would be a spectacular invitation for a holiday theme wedding where the bridesmaids are wearing traditional velvet dresses with claret crystal bridesmaid jewelry.

There are certainly some charming winter wedding invitations made in the more traditional paper format. A cute idea for a cozy reception in a rustic ski lodge is stationery made with a classic red and white Nordic ski sweater pattern. You could even customize it with a monogram across the top that is designed to look like it was knit. Yes, there really is a knitting font available for both Macs and pcs! It would look wonderful to present the invitation in a brown paper envelope tied up with a red piece of yarn. Everyone would definitely get the style of your wedding from these special invitations.

A very sweet design for a whimsical winter wedding invitation is a letterpress design featuring a pair of reindeer with hearts hanging from their antlers. Choose a chic brown and pink color palette to take the reindeer motif away from its Christmasy associations. A pair of reindeer with interlocking antlers is another charming motif. Think of it as the winter version of a pair of lovebirds. It is both romantic and whimsical at the same time.

Unique and playful invitations will help set the tone for your wedding. From DIY to custom to imprintables, there are some charming options available for the offbeat winter bride. Make the most of your only chance to make a first impression with a special winter wedding invitation that no one will ever forget!

The Perfect Wedding Dress Can Speak a Thousand Words

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Every bride wants to look her best on one of the most special days of her life- her wedding day. That’s because aside from the glamorous decorations and scrumptious food, everyone’s attention is set on the bride. The first thing they notice when she walks down the aisle is her wedding dress as well as the beauty and elegance she portrays. Whether a bride yearns to depict elegance, modesty, or even an outgoing personality, the dress to speak for her is definitely out there. Some patience and dedication is needed to locate that one-of-a-kind wedding dress since there are various styles to choose from. However, it is important to know what style looks best on one’s body type to maximize their assets.

Let’s focus on the five basic wedding styles and the body types they compliment well.

A-Line/Princess Wedding Dress

If you want a rather simple, yet elegant look, the A-Line/Princess style may be just what you are looking for. This wedding dress style is very popular among brides because it’s flattering on almost all body types and provides a nice feminine touch. This dress styles contains the ability to make a bride appear taller than she is. Another positive detail about this style is that a bride’s hips can be hidden since the fabric flares over them rather than hugging them. This dress is appropriate for any type of wedding- from an outdoor garden wedding to a traditional church ceremony.

Ball Gown Wedding Dress

If you have ever fantasized about wearing a dress such as those of the famous Disney Princesses, the Ball Gown style may be a winner. The Ball Gown style offers a classic Cinderella look. It’s an ideal style for those who are of average height, tall, or those with a pear-shaped figure. Much like the A-Line/Princess style, it conceals hips in order to shift attention upward to the upper body. If you are a full-figured bride, the skirt of this dress could actually cause you to look larger. Trains are perfect for this style since the skirt can balance the weight of the train.

Mermaid Wedding Dress

If you would love to show off your perfect figure on your big day, the Mermaid style could be the one. The mermaid cut is not for everyone. It is for slender figures, both tall and short. Mermaid style gowns hug the body just past the hips and flare out at the bottom for a full hemline. Since this is a very sexy look, which highlights the curves, it also reveals underwear lines. Keep this in mind when considering this dress and shop wisely for your undergarments.

Empire Wedding Dress

If you are petite and wish to look taller and emphasize your bust, the Empire wedding dress style is definitely one to look into. With a higher waistline that this style provides, an emphasized bust is made possible and a smaller waist is achievable. It fits well on all body types and is the ideal dress for pregnant brides. In addition, a bride can look forward to looking slimmer without having to wear a gown that is as tight as the Mermaid gowns that are available.

Sheath/Column Wedding Dress

If an elegant straight fitted style is your calling, the Sheath wedding dress style would be an ideal choice. This dress style is flattering on slender brides, both short and tall. In addition, it also helps petite brides seem taller. Since this dress can constrict your movement, consider one that has pleats or gathering in the back in order to move more freely.

Keep in mind that you can change the look of any wedding dress by choosing from various necklines, sleeve lengths, trains, or bustles. Mixing and matching different elements can give you your perfect look- from sexy and elegant to romantic and whimsical.

Selecting a wedding dress for your big day can be very stressful. We recommend that you take with you a person whose opinion you value in order to make the process easier. Don’t be afraid to try something out of the ordinary because you never know if that gown could end up being the one for you.

Are You in a Violent Relationship?

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This article was prompted by a conversation I had with a woman seeking coaching earlier this week. She feels ready to move ahead in her life. However something serious is holding her back. She feels there’s lots of positive happening in her life and also is aware of quite a bit of anguish (as are many of us right now). But in this woman’s case, 75% of her anguish was coming from her relationship… specifically her partner‘s bad treatment of her.

Here’s what I wrote for all the midlife women out there (or women of any age) who are in challenging relationships:

Relationship abuse comes in many shapes and colours. What’s a common interaction pattern for one woman may be considered totally unacceptable by another. There are, however, clear guidelines about the subject.

Many of us believe that abuse is confined to the physical body…if a woman’s not thrown across the room, it’s not violence. That’s not true though. The definition is considerably more expansive than that.

Verbal and emotional control and intimidation are usually more common than physical threats. After a period of time has elapsed in such a relationship, the implied threat of negative or stressful consequences is enough to keep a woman minding her “p’s and q’s”.

A power differential is at the root of the whole thing…an unequal power balance between the partners. It could be material including finances or income, physical, or personality driven (i.e. dominant personality type and passive type). Patterns are often adopted early in a relationship that follow a couple throughout their life together.

If you feel bad in your relationship much of the time and aren’t able to communicate this to your partner for fear of repercussions, you may be in an abusive relationship. If your self-esteem is plunging and you have unexplained illness that could be stress-related, perhaps your relationship is dragging you down.

Even though women may recognize the mistreatment, we often don’t do anything about it or speak of it for many, many reasons for a long time. We are embarassed, ashamed, our loyalty shackles us and so on. Another important reason is that telling makes it real, then we may have to act and we may not be prepared to yet.

Women who are experiencing physical as well as emotional, mental and spiritual violence leave their partner many times on average before the final breakup. Some women experiencing non-physical abuse may leave sooner and some deny the abuse by not labelling it as such. There’s no hard and fast rule for this.

Most communities have services for women experiencing relationship violence of any sort, be it physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. These services give women and their children a safe place to stay. Many women never actually go to safe houses – they find ways to get the support they need by random or ongoing telephone conversations with support workers who staff the houses, or from family and friends.

If you feel threatened, stressed or abused in your relationship, speak up to a safe person. You’ll be surprised how many other women are experiencing similar issues. Our silence isolates us from each other. Isolation slowly erodes our sense of self and our joie de vivre.

Can I Tell If is My Partner Gay?

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Sex and sexuality within any long-term relationship are complex subjects, and should not be treated lightly. In my view we all have a tendency to same sex relationships given the right set of circumstances. However, if these feelings emerge while someone is in a long-term heterosexual relationship, they can be difficult to deal with. This article will suggest ways of dealing with a partner who may be engaging with their same sex instincts.

Has your partner been suggesting unusual ways of spicing up your sex life? If these suggestions are characterised by a change in their role within that environment, it could mean they are beginning to explore their same sex feelings.

Has your partner started to discuss same sex experiences from their past? Almost all of us have had experiences, normally at school or college, of the same sex type. These memories can become more meaningful than perhaps they were viewed through the lens of nostalgia. Discussing them with you could be a sign that your partner is thinking about same sex relationships.

The important thing to remember is that the feelings your partner may or may not be having are entirely natural. We are all human, some of us just happen to be women and some happen to be men; not as bigger difference as you may imagine. In my view, homosexuality and heterosexuality are entirely natural states and should be treated as such. The fact that your partner may be experimenting with their approach to their sexuality should be viewed as positive. However, faithlessness within a relationship is never acceptable, no matter what sex is involved.

Gay Dating Advice

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Contrary to popular opinion gay relationships don’t revolve completely around sex. Gay relationships are as affected by similar problems and involve as many relations as any other relationship. They also suffer similarly when one partner is unfaithful, and go through the same chaos and destruction. Couples who have settled into familiar patterns and built a high level of trust can be shattered with infidelity, especially if they have been together for a substantial amount of time and have invested so much into the relationship.

If a relationship has been affected in this way, then attempts at resolution can be testing and uneasy. Trust once destroyed may never be completely re built and jealousy, resentment and bitterness may grow in its place.

If there is no way reconciliation can be achieved then you may wish to take the step back into dating. Thankfully these days it is a lot easier and a lot less daunting, with the advent of many online dating sites on the internet. With perseverance it is possible to find a new partner, although rejection and let-downs will still occur, with determination is is possible to build a new life with the help of this medium.

When dating someone new is important to remember your goals and be realistic about your expectations. Sometimes your date may not be suitable for your particular needs, or vice versa. However with the help of the online service, you can find someone who matches or complements yourself. Along with the new dating experiences you’ll be set to discover, you may also find a helpful and caring community.

10 Simple Ways to Say, “I Love You”

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We’re teaching our kids to be consumers at an early age. Look at the number of superhero and product endorsement Valentines on the store shelves.

We, as parents, are sucked in by the media to believe that we need the latest, greatest gadget or fad for our kids.

Share your love by giving of your time, not your pocketbook. What can you give your kids instead?

Here are 10 simple suggestions:

1. Slip a handmade valentine or a simple note into your child’s lunch box.

2. Take a walk together in the woods or your favorite park.

3. Jot down a line from your favorite poem. Share it with family members.

4. Kiss your kids goodnight.

5. Read a chapter book together.

6. Have family dinnertime together.

7. Turn off the TV. Have a pizza night and rent and watch a movie together.

8. Have a picnic in the park after the soccer game instead of stopping for a fast meal on the way home.

9. Have each family member write down one reason why they appreciate every other family member. Write your reasons on a tag and use ribbon to attach them to a batch of your favorite cookies. Let every family member find his own special cookies.

10. Help your kids write a letter to a family member who lives far away. Write the first few lines of a story and instruct the recipient to write the next, and then return the letter. Your story can continue indefinitely.

Ending a Friendship

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It took me over a year to make my final decision to end a friendship with a woman I’d socialized with on a weekly basis for more than five years. Perhaps I was afraid that I was being selfish or shortsighted by calling it quits. I worried that it was somehow wrong of me to seriously consider throwing away a friendship that wasn’t particularly bad. It just wasn’t good enough to continue spending time on.

My ruminating thoughts of uncertainty and the accompanying feelings of guilt persisted. I didn’t want to make a big mistake and regret taking what could easily be an irreversible step. I wasn’t able to come up with anything legitimate sin my friend had committed. Nevertheless my mind was made up. I knew I’d had my fill of this person. I felt stifled. It was the same old thing week after week, month after month year after year. It was like repeating a school grade over and over again. My dilemma was no longer a question of if but when and how I would say good-bye.

It wasn’t as though I hadn’t given the easier, softer way a shot. I’d tried the tapering approach for several months. I hoped if slowly untangled myself from our weekly commitment by being busy some of the time, she would gradually adjust to the idea of socializing less frequently. Perhaps I gently push her into a new habit of meeting once or twice a month. But just when I thought she was adjusting to the idea, she’d rev up her efforts to get us back on track to meet weekly.

I suffered some anticipatory nostalgia at the the thought of walking away. Close friends don’t grow on trees, at least not in my world. This woman and I had walked and talked our way through divorces, new relationships, subsequent break-ups and reconciliations. We’d shared a variety triumphs, defeats and struggles with our children. We had sons and daughters that were close in age. The two of us had also been equally guilty spending plenty of time of analyzing and judging the lives of our mutual “recovery” acquaintances.

“I don’t trust him. We’re friends.”

Bertolt Brecht

While there had been some give and take over the years, we essentially had a therapist/patient dynamic going much of the time with me playing the role of the counselor. I never got terribly upset about the imbalance because I was aware my basic personality type was in large part to blame. I typically ask a lot of questions and tend to steer the conversation away from sharing my deepest feelings. So it was natural then for me to gravitate toward someone who likes to talk about themselves and asked little about my life.

Don’t walk in front of me, I might not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I might not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.

Author Unknown

Despite our differences in personality, I often reassured myself that the two of us shared a solid and deepening .I believed I’d found a lifelong friend and the only thing that would ever change is that we’d grow closer. So I was surprised and confused when I noticed that I was looking less and less forward to our regularly scheduled outings. I wondered what my problem was.

Although I was craving to make an exit, a little voice inside kept questioning my sanity. She’s was, after all, one of the few friends I have on earth. She’s a hospice nurse for god’s sake. What if someday I am on my death bed ravaged by some unspeakably painful illness and no one else is around. Will I be sorry then? Will I be kicking myself with what little energy my fragile body has left then for so carelessly tossing her out of my life?

My last straw came (and I admit I was probably looking for one) when she called on a Tuesday to book our Saturday. She wanted to make sure we were scheduled before I made other plans. When I listened to that message I knew my tiptoeing away approach was a total failure. I’d had enough.

I decided to sleep on what my next move would be but I knew I had to take action. I was not willing to blow her off completely and I didn’t want the stress of telling her the truth.

I chose a medium path and one she’d advocated for her in situations when she didn’t want to deal with a person directly. I would mail her a card! What a brilliant idea.

The next day I found a “Thinking of You” card. I felt that would be appropriate and honest because I was thinking of her. The card was blank inside and I filled up the page explaining that while I always consider her a friend, I needed a break and I wasn’t up to meeting on a regular basis. I left the door open a bit by ending the note with something about perhaps someday we could meet again. I still don’t know if I did that to avoid sparing her feelings or allowing myself a chance to change my mind. Perhaps it was a little of both. I dropped the card in the mail.

About a month later she left me a voice mail like always and said she hoped we could walk that Saturday. She didn’t mention anything about receiving my card. I returned her message to let her know I was out of town and told her when I would be returning. That was three months ago and I haven’t heard back.

I’ve been tempted to call my old friends a couple of times but the truth is I’m not interested in resuming a relationship. I still feel some guilt from time to time but I get over it by reminding myself that it’s perfectly okay to spend time with the people I want to be around. I wouldn’t want someone staying in a friendship with me out of a sense of guilt or obligation.

I researched volumes of advice about ending friendships. It helped me work through my confusion. The list above helped me see that we had grown apart. Maybe I’d changed, maybe she’d changed. Who’s at fault didn’t really matter. My connection to her had weakened.

I have lost friends, some by death others through sheer inability to cross the street.

Virginia Wolf

After much soul searching I gave myself permission to walk away without carrying a long list of legitimate reasons to justify my decision. It felt wrong to continue this relationship. It felt right to end to it. Enough said.

Choosing Whether Or Not To Build Your Go Kart

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Go carting is definitely an excessively fun and challenging sport to engage in. With a go cart, it is easy to engage in highly riveting social activities for instance showcases and auto racing, and you can implement brand-new and far better ground breaking designs to your own creation, making it not simply a functional working auto, but also an item of great beauty and stylishness. Those new to this kind of racing will be faced with an crucial call: whether or not to design their own individual go kart or to buy one that has already been pre-assembled. Both the choices include their particular advantages and negative aspects, and ultimately the decision will come down to personal preference.

Needless to say go cart parts cost money, yet the accumulation of all the components cost drastically less than a pre-assembled go kart itself will. On average, the racing go kart can cost any where from $400 to $3500, hinging on the style and design, the resources utilized, the dimensions and as expected the quality of the final end result. The accumulation of the go cart parts may cost you somewhere between $600 and $1400, based on the identical previously mentioned factors that identify the final price of the already built buggy. While a already built go buggy will cost far more, it is warranted to function and carry on for a long time, being constructed by knowledgeable paid experts.

Quite a few people will finally end up considering the professionally built buggies simply because they might not exactly have acceptable constructing knowledge to build one of their very own – or they may not be certain how well their own final product will work. Although, shopping for kart parts and building your kart by yourself will increase sentimental appeal to the final product, which itself may be customised to a higher degree as compared to a pre built model, due to the reality that you are the crafter and can decide what shall be added. By assembling a go cart by yourself, you can value it more, having taken scrupulous attention to make for certain that it is perfect and all set for performance on the track.

Inevitably, the assessment comes down to finances, personalized capability, and time restraints. If you really want a go kart to be promptly manufactured as soon as possible, and you have the money to fork out, obviously you’ll wish to pay for one that has been manufactured already. Needless to say, if you are great with your hands or really do not plan on paying a lot of assets on go carts, it is advisable that you experience the rewarding hobby of producing the kart by hand.

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